I can't believe it took this movie almost an hour to get to the basic premise of the original show. An hour of crazy stupid action. And I don't mean that in an over the top WOO ACTION kind of way. I mean in a are you fucking serious kind of way. Though it does have lots of shots of Bradley Whitford's magnificent abs. For the ladies. And the ( Read more... )

So there is this guy who works at a funeral home and some tragedy involving a cab crash happened to him like 10 years ago and he's lonely and so he fakes his own death but maybe he's really dead and there is his high school ex and some junkie girl and then I realize the movie is halfway over and that I have no clue what, if any, kind of plot I'm ( Read more... )

Oh man. Chuck Norris delivers trucker vengeance to a town of Texas rednecks in California. Yes, Norris in eagle-painted van karate fights a town to destruction in retribution for the death of his brother...

So teen-ager kidnaps his little kid brother to get them away from their abusive father. And then keeps him locked in their cheap motel room while he works at the local Gulp N Go so that he can earn the money so they can live in Alaska. Because..er..Alaska is a cheap place to live? And thinks about maybe one day maybe some day getting around to ( Read more... )

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No not the recent Guy Ritchie/Downey Jr one. This is a direct-to-video one. With a dinosaur. And Holmes' brother. Nope, not Myrcroft. His other brother, the crippled ex-cop. Yeah I didn't know about that either. And then towards the end Sherlock (aka Bob Holmes) fights a dragon in a helicopter/balloon. Despite the terrible acting, the cheap ( Read more... )

well that was one of the more boringly pointless movies I've watched. Anyway, its in small town Nova Scotia. And is about some teen-age girl. And some other teen-age girl who moves there for totally unclear reasons. And then fake pregnancies and vengeful face punching. Plus Andrew McCarthy. All very pointless...

I am very, very disappointed in you John Huston. Or possibly Flannery O'Connor. Maybe the story of an angry veteran who decides to create the Church Without Christ in Macon, GA could be interesting. And it does have Harry Dean Stanton as a scuzzy street preacher. But everyone in the movie seems to be either stupid or crazy or both. By the half ( Read more... )

Too stupid to actually finish watching. Hell, too stupid to watch more than a half-hour or so of ( Read more... )

I don't tend to remember much of anything about my dreams. So I wanted to get this down before it fades away. So in the dream I'm in some movie and part of the time I'm Tobey McGuire. And at the end of the film I get crucified except its not a Jesus bio-pic and then it is. I don't know. But I do know that at the wrap party I'm trying to ( Read more... )